What's Next?

I'm still surprised at how much I've liked doing the blog thing. I guess I just don't really like the idea of a blog being like a public diary, but having something specific to write about was quite enjoyable, to be honest. A couple of you had asked if I'd keep it up after the detox, and I think that if I had another project or unusual experiment of sorts to blog about I'd be more apt to keep it up.

But what to write about now? At first I thought about going in the opposite direction, you know, eating nothing but fast food for an entire month and tracking the deterioration of my insides, health, energy and life as I know it. But apparently someone already did that? Who knew? So I think since I like cooking so much and would love to learn techniques and therory and the intricacies of French cooking, I'll work my way through a highly-respected cookbook over the course of... wait...

Crap. I'm out of ideas.

I'm open to suggestions for the next blog topic. It may interest you to know that I'll do pretty much anything at least once and have almost no personal or ethical standards. To sweeten the deal, I can probably come up with some pretty spectacular prize for the person with the winning suggestion. So put those thinking caps on and get back to me in the next few weeks, and I'll tentatively unveil the winner in the beginning of May.

Ch-ch-changes (part 3.2)

I already miss the way I approached day to day life while on the detox. I've mentioned that the increased mindfulness of what I consumed increased my mindfulness of what I produced, namely how I spent my time. I never felt like I was behind on anything, which I guess makes sense. Just like in school, your busiest semesters are generally the best because you never fall out of school-mode. Conversely, if you're taking one class you never even do that homework because it takes so much work to focus on it. At least that's how it was for me... Thinking back to the month of detox, I rarely watched TV, and it was mainly just as background when I was making dinner. I read a lot, kind of kept my room clean and didn't let things pile up at work. I was on the ball and it felt really nice.

But in the past week, I've already felt my procrastinating tendencies creeping back into my life. Case in point- I intended to wrap up the detox part of the blog 5 days ago, and I'm still not done. I haven't done laundry in almost 2 weeks despite the fact that I'm leaving for a 5 day work-related trip tomorrow and have no idea how I'm going to be able to pack clean clothes after tying up all the loose ends at work and running all the other errands I haven't gotten to yet.

I just feel kind of dumb sometimes, I mean just because I can waste time and I can eat copious amounts of junk food, why do I feel like I have to? I don't even really want to some of the time. I don't know what it is about that freedom that makes me feel the need to take advantage of it. I guess what I'd really like is to focus on balance more in the future, you know, not feel like I have to keep adding obligations in order to stay on task. I've done that before and end up getting burned out on everything. I think the detox enhanced what I've been learning the past few years about my limits and my flexibility; knowing when to say no, when to say yes, and when to put work aside and remember that there are more important things in life than the bottom lines, deadlines and straight lines that I love so much.

Ch-Ch-Changes (Part 3.1)

I'd planned on doing just one post about the habits conclusion, but it will take at least two I'm sure. The more I think about it, the more I realize how much I thrived with the structure of the detox. It was a little limiting, but when I didn't have to worry about things that usually take a lot of time and energy, it freed me to think about/do other things.

One of the nice things was that sweets weren't an option. I didn't tell myself I'd just have one little piece of chocolate, which turned into two, which turned into three, etc. Except for that one time. But I've decided that I don't really have any faith in my ability to limit my baked goods intake to a reasonable and occasional amount. I've been sort of good about it so far, but know it's just a matter of time until I'm functioning largely on sugar calories. I've noticed I consistently felt better when my blood sugar was more stable, so I'm contemplating trying not to eat sweets during the week, or every other day or something, just to be on a schedule that doesn't deprive me but doesn't let me eat them all the time, which I always end up doing.

Without necessarily meaning to, I ate more slowly and appreciated what I was eating more than I normally do. At work I've tried developing my tasting palette so I can taste the subtleties of different coffees, kind of like a sommelier would with wine. I'm not very good at it, but I wonder how much of that is because I never pay attention the way food tastes? I just eat as an automatic response to food being placed within arm's reach. I'd like to be more attentive to food, intentionally trying different flavors together, and noting what I'm tasting.

Last week at Easter dinner, I had an interesting revelation regarding my lack of self-control. Apparently when I was a child, I would keep putting food in my mouth, even though I didn't always chew or swallow any of it. Just shoveled it in there. There were plenty of humorous stories of how I had to sit with my chipmunk cheeks at the table for hours after dinner, and how my grandpa resorted to checking inside my mouth after every bite to make sure I wasn't hoarding any food. Evidently, I have an inherent predisposition to stuff my face regardless of consequences. And come to think of it, I recall one of my childhood nicknames was "Bottomless Pit". The cards have been stacked against me.

Ch-ch-changes (part 2)

Before the detox, I thought of myself as a fairly healthy eater. I ate a lot of fruits and vegetables, whole grains, plain yogurt, etc. My major weakness was (and still is) baked goods, but still it's not like I ate them with every meal or anything. I think this generally nutritious approach to food lessened the impact and overall effectiveness of the detox. I never felt that different, just because my body wasn't crying out for nutrients as much as it would have if I subsisted largely on fast or highly processed food. But nonetheless, here are a few notable influences:

Keepers:

• Eating fruit throughout the morning; it was energizing and delicious. I won't do this every morning, but probably at least half of them.
  
• Taking it easy on the coffee. I've tried (successfully so far!) to limit myself to about 1 cup every day, and not to have any first thing in the morning, just so I don't return to that state of reliance on it to wake me up.
• Keeping well-hydrated.
• Eating an apple a day.
• Limiting sweets. Way easier said than done.

Losers:

• Herbal supplements. I don't want to bad-mouth them too much; they may be helpful in some cases. I just feel like you can only tell if they work if you have a specific problem that they're supposed to help with, take them and see if that problem lessens with time. I don't have any major irritating issues that may be bettered by supplements. I felt ok before, I feel fine now. A little better, though probably not because of herbs, rather uber-healthy eating.
• Lemon juice with warm water in the morning. It wasn't too terrible to drink, but occasionally made me a little nauseated.

Maybes:

• Not drinking with meals. The idea was that water dilutes the nutrient content of what's being digested, and makes it easier for nutrients to pass through without being absorbed into the body. It kind of makes sense, but it's so hard not to drink when eating. Try it.
• Less dairy and wheat. I know I'm not wheat or lactose intolerant, so I don't really know if there's any health benefit to not eating them? Both are inconvenient and expensive to avoid. But I do really like almond and soy milk, and had a fun time experimenting with grains. So I don't know.

Ch-ch-changes (part 1)

Of all the weird things I tried this month, the all-natural hair and skincare products are easily the least impressive. Well, I take that back; herbal supplements rank up there as well. But aside from a few nice things, I don't think I'll stick with any of it.

Keepers:

• The almond facial scrub and aloe facial lotion. Love them. Remember in Back to the Future II when Doc peels off a layer of his face? He looks exactly the same, but clearly he feels younger. It's like that. I doubt I look any better, but I feel quite nice and rejuvenated every time I use them.

Losers:

• The deodorant. For the first few weeks I didn't really notice often, but last week when it got warm and I started sweating (relatively profusely) for the first time, I realized how horribly ineffective natural deodorant really is. I smelled gross, and I can't smell most things very well, so I know it was bad. I was so self-conscious all day.
• The shampoo and conditioner. There was one time when I just didn't think to cut or even trim my hair for about 2 years, and it was understandably pretty unhealthy by the end of it. Since using natural products, my hair has degenerated to that same state of dry, brittle unhealthiness; it's like it's aged 20 years in the course of 3 weeks.
• The lotion. A big disappointment. I remember being so impressed with it when I first got it, but it just dries my skin out. Like I'd probably be better off not using anything.

Maybes:

• The soap. I guess it works just as well as soap I used to use. But based on what? I don't know what criteria one uses to evaluate soap. I'll definitely finish using what I have and reevaluate at that time.
• The toothpaste. I don't have anything bad to say about it. It'd be interesting to go to the dentist now and see if it actually protects my teeth from cavities or gum disease or any of that.
• The natural-bristle brush. I used this in the morning, basically to just brush my skin, I think with the intent to increase circulation, which it did. But I get grossed out by rubbing the old dead skin cells that are trapped in the brush back on to myself every day.

The End

So I'm done. I don't know if I was expecting to feel different or free or something when I woke up yesterday, but I didn't. That lack of a feeling was kind of unnerving; I don't know why, it's not like I had some big life change or anything, I just get to eat garbage again. I've realized so far that I'm mainly tempted to eat things like that just because I can, not because I necessarily want to. Except for jelly beans. I love jelly beans so, so much, maybe even more than most kinds of chocolate. I put some out in an adorable little mug with duck feet that poses as my Easter candy jar, along with a variety of candy for company to enjoy. None of the rest of it sounds that good to me, but those jelly beans are irresistible. I'm like a 6 year old in candy store. I ate some for breakfast today (along with an entire cup of coffee). Now I'm a little jittery. Yikes.

(Enter 12 hours)

I just finished a delightful Easter dinner full of almost nothing except things I couldn't eat on detox. Honestly, I feel fine. I guess that time the other day when I was sorry I'd eaten a few previously off-limit things was just a fluke. That's good because I'm sitting comfortably on my couch as I write this, not in the bathroom or curled up in a ball cursing my body's inability to handle anything fun anymore. But it's also potentially dangerous, knowing there are no immediate consequences.

Everyone asks if the detox will change the way I eat/live once it's over. I'm sure some things will stick, though I don't know what, and to what extent yet. I guess it can be broken into 3 categories- non-edible products, food and habits. You may look forward to three riveting posts addressing each of these categories in the near future. Until then...

(Enter moaning, groaning and stomach churning)

Today should have been the first day off the detox, but I kind of felt guilty about the cheating. Not necessarily the little tiny slips here and there, but those two days of gormandizing in particular. So I added two days to make up for it, tentatively making tomorrow the last day, but in classic Diana fashion I cheated a bit today. Not by much, about a half a piece of bread, an almost microscopic bit of cheese, a few sips of leftover hot chocolate and maybe 10 jelly beans. But I don't feel good. I was worried about going crazy and eating every piece of garbage in sight until I had to go find more, but apparently God made the human body complete with anti-rapid-post-detox-backslide defense mechanisms.