Ch-ch-changes (part 3.2)

I already miss the way I approached day to day life while on the detox. I've mentioned that the increased mindfulness of what I consumed increased my mindfulness of what I produced, namely how I spent my time. I never felt like I was behind on anything, which I guess makes sense. Just like in school, your busiest semesters are generally the best because you never fall out of school-mode. Conversely, if you're taking one class you never even do that homework because it takes so much work to focus on it. At least that's how it was for me... Thinking back to the month of detox, I rarely watched TV, and it was mainly just as background when I was making dinner. I read a lot, kind of kept my room clean and didn't let things pile up at work. I was on the ball and it felt really nice.

But in the past week, I've already felt my procrastinating tendencies creeping back into my life. Case in point- I intended to wrap up the detox part of the blog 5 days ago, and I'm still not done. I haven't done laundry in almost 2 weeks despite the fact that I'm leaving for a 5 day work-related trip tomorrow and have no idea how I'm going to be able to pack clean clothes after tying up all the loose ends at work and running all the other errands I haven't gotten to yet.

I just feel kind of dumb sometimes, I mean just because I can waste time and I can eat copious amounts of junk food, why do I feel like I have to? I don't even really want to some of the time. I don't know what it is about that freedom that makes me feel the need to take advantage of it. I guess what I'd really like is to focus on balance more in the future, you know, not feel like I have to keep adding obligations in order to stay on task. I've done that before and end up getting burned out on everything. I think the detox enhanced what I've been learning the past few years about my limits and my flexibility; knowing when to say no, when to say yes, and when to put work aside and remember that there are more important things in life than the bottom lines, deadlines and straight lines that I love so much.